The Original Energy Crisis Dad
You know how every family has that relative who hoards plastic bags “just in case”? Well, my dad was the energy crisis version of that guy. The 1970s oil shortage hit him like a religious awakening, except instead of finding Jesus, he found electricity. And boy, did he commit to the bit.
The Electric Tractor That Could (Sort Of)
Picture this: it’s the late ’70s, disco is dying, and my father rolls up to Sears and buys what was essentially the Tesla Cybertruck’s awkward grandfather – an Electrac battery-powered tractor. This bad boy ran on six car batteries strapped together like some kind of suburban Frankenstein’s monster.
The thing worked great… until it didn’t. Want to mow the lawn? Sure, no problem! Need to haul some leaves? You got it! But the moment you attached that snow blower, the tractor would drain faster than my motivation on a Monday morning. We learned real quick that winter and electric don’t mix – a lesson Tesla owners are still figuring out today.
What kills me is that you can still find these Electrac tractors all over eBay now, probably being sold as “vintage” for three times what my dad paid. Some hipster with a man-bun is probably using one in Brooklyn as we speak, telling everyone about his “authentic analog lawn care experience.”
Column Shifters: The Circle of Automotive Life
Fast forward to 2023, and I’m sitting in my Tesla Model Y, reaching for the shifter on the steering column, when it hits me – I’ve come full circle. Every car from dad’s era had column shifters! It was like automotive déjà vu, except now my car can parallel park itself and occasionally tries to drive into construction barriers.
The Art of Hypermiling (Before It Had a Name)
My father was drafting behind semi-trucks before “hypermiling” was even a word. Picture a middle-aged man in a wood-paneled station wagon, following 18-wheelers at what he insisted was a “safe but aerodynamically optimal distance.” Meanwhile, us kids in the back seat were just trying not to throw up from the diesel fumes.
Now here I am in my Tesla, doing the exact same thing, except I call it “maximizing range efficiency” because it sounds more sophisticated. Same dad behavior, fancier terminology.
AC: The Enemy of Efficiency (Then and Now)
“We don’t need air conditioning,” dad would declare as we melted into the vinyl seats like human grilled cheese sandwiches. “Roll down the windows! It’s more efficient!”
Joke’s on him – now my Tesla tells me exactly how much range I lose when I turn on the AC. And the heat! Oh, the heat is even worse. Dad’s spirit lives on every time I arrive somewhere in winter looking like I just completed an Arctic expedition because I didn’t want to lose those precious battery miles.
Coasting: The Original Regenerative Braking
Dad had this thing about “engine braking” and coasting down hills. He’d shift into neutral and coast for what felt like geological epochs, all in the name of fuel efficiency. Cars behind us probably thought we’d broken down.
Now my Tesla does the same thing automatically with regenerative braking, except it’s called “technology” instead of “weird dad behavior.” The car literally slows down when I let off the accelerator, capturing energy like some kind of mechanical vampire. Dad was basically a pioneer – he just didn’t have the fancy computer doing it for him.
The All-Electric House Experiment
In a move that was either brilliant or catastrophically premature, dad built an all-electric house right before electricity prices went through the roof. Nothing says “forward thinking” like betting the farm on electric heat just before it becomes prohibitively expensive.
We had rooms that were basically refrigerators with furniture. The fireplace became our primary heat source, turning our modern electric home into something resembling a 19th-century cabin. Dad would sit there, stoking the fire and muttering about electricity prices like some kind of suburban caveman.
When we renovated in 2005, we installed a proper heating system, but dad insisted we keep the electric option “just in case.” Just in case of what, dad? Just in case we wanted to recreate the Arctic tundra in our living room?
The Solar Vision
Dad was talking about solar panels back when they were basically science fiction for regular people. He’d point at the roof and say, “Someday, that’s going to power the whole house.” We all thought he was crazy.
Well, guess who’s crazy now? Half my neighborhood has solar panels, and I’m over here calculating whether I can afford a Tesla Powerwall like it’s some kind of energy independence merit badge.
The Moral of the Story
The funny thing is, dad wasn’t wrong – he was just early. Really, really early. He was living the sustainable lifestyle before it was cool, before it was necessary, and definitely before it was convenient.
So here’s to all the energy crisis dads out there who were quietly being environmentally conscious before it became trendy. You were the original early adopters, the beta testers of the green energy future. You just had to deal with cold houses and tractors that couldn’t handle snow.
What’s old is new, indeed. And somewhere, dad is probably looking down (or up – jury’s still out) thinking, “I told you so.”
Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to go draft behind a semi-truck to maximize my range efficiency. You know, for the environment.
Even that's Odd 
Leave a comment